Total Pageviews

Thursday, February 28, 2013

The Fart Fairy Cometh... Or not...

When I was growing up, I was essentially raised by two dads.

No, not in that way.  Things weren't as progressive back then as they are now.  I'm talking about my dad and my step dad.  Two separate dads, two separate households, two separate forms of brain washing.  Each of them had their own unique brand of "teaching" their young daughter, me, the ways of life.

Between my dad with the "I'll always KNOW if you've done anything wrong." and my step dad drilling into my head "girls don't fart, girls don't burp and girls never stink up the bathroom."  I was a confused mess!  Holy CRAP, no pun intended...  OK - let's leave the pun there because it's just silly.

I had all these rules and unrealistic fears put into my head that I didn't know what to do with.

Fast forward 20 years....
Enter single mom, Jenn.  I've stated numerous times - I did not date a lot.  I had a few boyfriends - all long term and then a few "mini relationships" in between.  This was a direct result of my dads' tag team warning "they only want to get into your pants".

I did not have a positive marriage or divorce.  I was freaked out by it all and was not really interested in scared to death to date around.  I just wanted to raise my son and do my thing.  I was resigned to remain single.

Then I met my hubby.

I didn't really like to let anyone around my son.  He was my child.  I didn't want him getting attached to anyone and I didn't want him to get the wrong idea, so I always had my dad (step) run interference whenever I went out.  He kept people at the door while I did my thing.  Sort of like when I was a teenager.

And then.... there was my husband, who somehow managed to get past the old man - with a gift for my son.

As he began to come around more often, "Poppie" began to just let him in.  Sometimes he'd come around while my boy was there & they'd watch a video or something until I was ready to go.  Eventually he'd just come over while my son was home.  We'd all hang out and watch a movie or something.  It became - comfortable.

Back to the fart fairy....
My household consisted of me & my young male child.  The notion of being a prudish, prim & proper mommy was out the window.  I was the mommy to a very rambunctious little boy.  We were buddies and there were farts.

Now, there was this other person frequenting our home.  One that loved to play the fart game with my son.  One I could not be all "little boy" around or play the pull my finger game.  I had to be a proper lady, because I was told my whole life - GIRLS DO NOT FART.

The new game became "hold it until you explode."

Well hubby was over on a night that I'd made a dinner with lots of garlic.  Not only was my breath kickin' but I could feel that familiar rumble in my tummy.  Oh no, here it comes....

The words "Girls do NOT fart." continually echoed through my brain.  I began to panic.  How the hell do I hide this one?  He & my son were letting 'er rip and having a grand old time with it while I was dying from the gaseous build up.

We sat there, watching the movie & I'd excuse myself to the lower level of my home for some relief all the while thinking...Where the hell is the damn dog?

If you have, had or have ever been around a little dog - those little creatures can clear a room with one of their little air bombs.  Thank you, oh little dog....for so many farts were blamed on you.

But not this one....

This time I couldn't escape.  I couldn't make a break for it and run to my bedroom fortress.  It escaped without warning.  The fart from hell.  A fart that could clear not only the room, but potentially a small town.  It hung in the air like a deadly mist.  There was no where to run, no where to hide.  It was awful.

Holy CRAP.  Where the hell is the dog??  No dog...  Who to blame, who to blame???

And then here it comes....

"MOMMMMM,  That's a GROSS one!"

My jaw dropped to the floor.  Horrified.  What to say, what to do??  Quick... think!  Diffuse the situation...

Me:  No no, it wasn't me.  I don't have farts.  I have a fart fairy.  She comes to take my farts away every night while I sleep.

My son:  Mom, you DO NOT have a fart fairy.  You fart ALL THE TIME.

I'm clearly freaked now.  Hubby, who I've only just officially started dating, is now thoroughly amused and taking in my horror and denial.  My son continues his adamant assault on me and the fart from hell.

Me:  What do you mean I fart all the time?  I don't fart all the time.

My son:  Well you fart.

Me:  No, sweetie.... I have a fart fairy.  Some times she just misses a night.

My son:  She misses A  L O T !

On that, my husband broke out into uncontrollable laughter.

All the brain washing of "Girls Do NOT Fart" didn't matter.  There was no more denying it.  I do not have a fart fairy.  She never comes to take my farts away while I sleep and the dumb dog is clearly absent and blameless.

Damn dog!

Damn Fart Fairy!

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em I suppose.

Thank you to those who hung around for this silliness....

Have a fantastic and gas free day!


PS.  Just in case you're wondering - this incident did not open the door for a free for all fart fest.... I still live by the hold it until you explode brain washing...  :)

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

What's important...

Hard to remember what's really important sometimes.

We take everything for granted, don't we?  Have a house?  You want a bigger one.  Have a car?  You want a the new, better model.  It seems to fall from memory that we actually DO have enough.  How many others don't have anything and want or need just a small part of what we take for granted?
...and we still can't seem to be satisfied with what we've got.

Oh - I'm totally guilty.  I've got the "I want it and I want it now" - BAD!

We... Ok I totally get all caught up in life and let the mighty rat race of the bigger and better deal take me over so that the important fact slips by...  most of us already have the best deal there is and we don't see it...  until, of course, something comes along and smacks you upside the head to remind you.

Sometimes I get so mad at myself.  I look at my life and I've got so much. More than I sometimes deserve, and I piss and moan and bitch and complain about the stuff I don't have.

I don't have auto start in my truck... well boo friggin hoo!

Sleep didn't come easily to me last night.  I sat awake thinking of my friend who passed a few weeks ago, and the words another friend posted on Facebook seemed to echo through my mind.  (I'll share that at the end of this post.)

The thoughts raced from one to another through my mind; I thought of some of my other friend who are so much like my friend who passed - living large & not taking care of themselves.  I thought of friendships in trouble and friendships lost.  People who have slipped away for no good reason, and the memories that I've held on to.  Things that make me smile & things gone forever.

Then, I thought of the things I have to be thankful for and the things that actually are important.

The people.

Family and friends should always be priority, but as I inferred - life gets in the way.  Constantly.  Things happen, people fight, walls go up and people become separated.  The important stuff gets brushed aside.  People get brushed aside.  We do it every day.  How many times do your kids walk in, excited to show you a picture they've drawn - and the words "not right now" are uttered?  Ug...Fail!

These are the things we don't even realize we're doing - until we get a big smack upside the head.

Death is difficult - but somehow it has a way of becoming the long awaited spring after a cold winter.  The awakening.  The rebirth & renewal of old relationships that have fallen by the wayside, and the resurrection of damaged friendships.

It reminds you of the things you forgot you were thankful for.  The things to be grateful to and for.

I often sound like a broken record - mostly because I do truly care about people.  Sometimes to a degree that freaks people out a little....but that's me.  Someone who is so incredibly thankful for people in my life.  Someone who will reach out at random and say - hey, I love you - take care of your self, will ya?  Just because.

I am truly and completely grateful to all of you and appreciate every single one of you.

Go love and be loved.  Take care of yourselves and appreciate the little things.

As always, thank you very so much for reading my blog.


This is for you, my Clifton girlies - I love you <3

"Attitude of Gratitude" as posted on my friend, Ron Brooks Facebook Page
The other day I witnessed the true essence and spirit of "I WON'T COMPLAIN"?!! While shopping at a local supermarket I noticed a young man bagging groceries in my line. At first glance nothing seemed to be special or extraordinary about him, but as I got closer I realized that he was bagging groceries based on his touch and feel of the food rather than by sight; BECAUSE HE WAS BLIND! I was immediately impacted because I thought about those of us who fail to reach our full potential or utilize the gifts and talents God has given us because we are too busy complaining about the things we believe we don't possess! Many of us are blessed beyond our own recognition! We need to realize and appreciate all the blessings God has poured out on us and have a ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE! I was positively and deeply impacted by David the bagger! I HOPE YOU WILL BE TOO!

Friday, February 22, 2013

Sheesh, How close do you think that bucket is???

A month or so ago I was having a conversation with my son.

He's in the Navy and on the other side of the country now, so when we talk - we talk for a while and we talk about everything / anything.  During one particular conversation we somehow got onto the subject of the things I wanted to do in my life before I died.

Ya know, my bucket list.

I chattered on about silliness and then I told him that I really wanted to go sky diving.  He laughed at me and told me I was nuts.  Told me that I'd have a heart attack on the way down - and basically made fun of me.  It's all in good fun!  I laughed too.

A few weeks later, he called me and said, "Guess what, mom... When you come here - we're going sky diving!  I made reservations."  For a moment, I was shocked and a little nervous.  The only thing I could think of to say was, "How close do you think that bucket IS?"

I accepted the idea, begrudgingly - and then I heard of the death of my friend.  I'm not that old.  I'm only...  Well, I'm still young!  Mentally, I'm even younger.  The point is, just because your sick doesn't mean you're going to die soon and just because you aren't doesn't mean you're not.

None of us know how close that bucket is.

None of us should be saying no to really great opportunities, to really great chances that come by once in a life time.  Yet we do, don't we?  All the time.  Sometimes without even picking up on it - we say no.  No thanks. Not this time, next time.  It's OK you go...  Should we be?  Saying no, that is?  Should we be waiting for the next time to come along to do something cool?  What IF there is NO next time?

We all work hard.  Well, most of us do - in one way or another.
We go on daily, going out to work for or toward something, while letting the something's slip by.

My friend who passed was a single guy.  Much easier for him to just get up and go.  Responsible only to and for himself, mostly - but he did things as often as possible.

We can do that, you know.  Do the things.  Yes, as a family person - a momma or dad, you need to maneuver things around a bit - but it can be done.  Things can be seen.  Things can be done.  It is possible AND worth it.

Did I go sky diving in San Diego?  Well, no I didn't.  The flu bug took hold of me and it wasn't the time.  I did, walk to the edge of Sunset Cliffs and blow kisses to the Atlantic Pacific (bahaha, thanks, Joe) and smile as old memories rolled off onto the tide.  I walked La Jolla and Breaker beach.  I saw the sites.

I did and saw all that was possible to do and see in a time span of less than 48 hours.  With my son by my side.

I made memories.  I did, I saw and I lived.

When it comes down to it - does sitting in your house, in front of the boob tube enhance your life?  Does it give you all the ahhhh moments you're hoping for before that big day comes?  Or are you looking at the beauty from the other side of a window?

Go out...put on your jacket and roll around in the snow.  Walk the beach in your bare feet & dance in the rain.  Stand under a water fall in Costa Rica and horseback ride on a beach.

That bucket could be anywhere.


Thank you for reading my blog!


Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Parent & Baby Prize Pack Giveaway

Hello Ladies! I have teamed up with some awesome bloggers to give you one of the coolest Mommy & Baby Prize Packs. This isn't just your ordinary prize packs with already selected gifts. Nope. This prize pack has FOUR different gift cards for your shopping convenience.
You'll get $25 to where you can buy disposable or cloth diapers. The prize pack also contains a $25 Gift card to Target. Everyone loves Target because they offer everything from clothes to groceries to shoes, and the list just goes on and on. Are you pregnant or nursing and need to get some pretty clothes to fit your new curves? No worries. This prize pack includes a $25 gift card to Motherhood Maternity. You can find tons of great maternity and nursing clothes. Last but not least, there is a $25 gift card to Babys R Us. We all know that they have an endless amount of baby supplies.
Now that I have tickled your fancy with this list of gift cards in the prize pack. I should list the 5 Bloggers that have teamed up (including me) to bring you this Giveaway. We are all moms and know how important it is to be prepared and have everything we need for baby. See the list below of the Bloggers. A big fat thank you to them.
Now for the good part. Enter the Rafflecopter below, cross your fingers, and wait for the winner to be announced next month! Remember, enter all of the entries for a better chance to win!
Must be 18 or older and reside in the US. Must have a valid email and shipping address. Must respond to winning notification within 48 hours of receipt or a new winner will be picked.
FUNNY POSTPARTUM LADY takes full responsibility for shipment of this prize.
a Rafflecopter giveaway

Thursday, February 14, 2013

All the single ladies, All the single ladies...

<3   Happy Valentines Day All!   <3

In the spirit of love & finding love, I figured I'd throw a little something out there for the single ladies.

This particular post was inspired by a single friend of mine, whom I've asked express permission to write this post.

As with my For the Men; Cool vs Creepy - A Woman's Point of View post, this should totally be taken as tongue in cheek.  Though the advice in both is pretty accurate, I'm a goof ball not an advice columnist.  Don't get all cranky at me.  Just have fun!

Yes, that IS a disclaimer because I had some male friends get a little pissed at me for my man post.  Sheesh... I WILL tell you if it's about you in any way!

I, myself, was once a single lady - looking for love in all the wrong places and making the same mistakes that I'm going to talk about here... So single ladies, sit down and relax.  I'm going to throw some stuff at you that you may or may not have heard before.

The stuff you're doing... It's wrong.  Trust me.  I've been guilty of some of this stuff in the past & I know my friend continues to suffer from this affliction.

Have you ever noticed that it's either feast or famine?
Whenever you're looking - you're a social pariah.  If you need a date, chances are you're going with your cousin.  BUT if you're in a happy loving relationship - there are men dripping all over you and dying to go out with you.

What the heck is that all about??  It's like there's a beacon of desperation or something shining brightly over your head that turns on and off at random.

This also works very well when you're wearing your very best stay the FLOCK away from me attitude.  Not in the mood?  Out with the girls and just want to have fun without being hit on?  There they all are.  I used to have a phony wedding band that I'd throw on when I just wanted to be out with the girls and blow off steam.  THAT, however, can work either way.  It's either a repellent or a DB magnet.  *Ladies, as a warning - if it is working as a magnet - don't bite.  The nice guys respect the wedding band.*  WEDDING BAND, not engagement ring.  Engagement ring means there's still a chance.  It's like laying down the gauntlet and challenging them to get beyond it.  Really!

If you are looking and that special guy catches your eye - IGNORE HIM.  Yes, you heard me - ignore him.  If he's interested, don't you worry - he will come over.  Men are hunters.  If he wants you, he will pursue you.

If you start dating - don't call him.  Let him call you.  This was one of my biggest mistakes when I was dating - I called.  Trust me, I called.  I called a lot.  I would have blocked my ass.

Just DON'T call.  You call and your desperation beacon begins to shine brightly and you again become... pariah.

If he's interested.  He'll call.

Do NOT try to twist yourself into a knot trying to be like them.  You know....pretending to like the things they like, doing the things they do just to make an impression.  Of COURSE they are going to love the little mirror image of themselves and be attracted to you.  Think ahead to when you get all good and comfy in the relationship and you start being yourself.  Chances are he will lose interest because you are not who he thought you were.  Then...heart break.
I'm personally, not guilty of this one... I'm so busy trying to tone ME down and not trip over my own two feet that I can't even begin to think about acting like someone else.

Point is, be yourself.  If someone doesn't like you for you... Is it really worth it?

Knock off the gushy, gushy 12 year old  Winnie the Pooh lovie stuff.  Ugh.. You'll even get an eye roll out of me with that.

Oh.. and Shhhhh.  Don't dominate the conversation.  Most men love to talk about themselves.  Narcissists.
(No disrespect, gents)
Let them talk about themselves.
If they like you, they'll want to know about you too.

Chill out!  Really... CHILL OUT.  You don't need to go all hog wild head over heels on the first date.  Have fun.  Get to know each other.  You may NOT be head over heels.  Love is often disguised by loneliness, lust and infatuation.  Take a little while to see what it's all about.  For the love of all that's holy - let him say the L word first.

We women folk are very emotional beings.  We get caught up in the hearts and flowers and the rush of emotion.  It takes men a little longer.  If you go at their pace instead of yours - you may be closer to the real L word and not just the other stuff.

Lastly, I'm gonna go all Patty Stanger on you and say...
No Sex before Monogamy!
If you're a big girl, you already know that sex can be a big emotional trap.  Holding back will also help sort out all of those confusing girlie feelings. If he really likes you, he'll wait.

Just go be YOU.  There IS someone for everyone.  Sometimes you just need to stop pushing it.  Stop trying to make it happen and let it happen.  Trust me.  YOU are the best YOU that you can be and that's more than enough.

I wish you all a wonderful Valentines Day!

Thank you for reading my blog!

Big Smoochies!!


Monday, February 11, 2013

If today was your last day... Take 2

I am re-posting this today, Monday, February 11, 2013 - the first of two days where I will go say good bye to my dear friend, Edmund V. Cussick III.  (you can click Ed's name to read tribute)

This post was initially written for him in March 5, 2012.  I have edited it slightly to show you exactly what the original inspiration was for this post & so that you can get a small taste of what a big heart my dear friend had.

Ed...This is for you, bud.  I love you and you will never be forgotten.  Rest in peace dear heart.

I've been inspired by a dear friend of mine, who was brave enough to bare himself online with tragedy he's lived with for many, many years.

His words touched me so deeply that I thought I should ask you all, What if today was your last day? (Yes, that is Nickeback and I know your disdain for Nickelback, dear friend.  I, however, LOVE Nickelback - so in my blog it is.)

As I've stated over and over again - I am a perpetual work in progress.  I consistently take one step forward and three steps back, especially since I've faced my own mortality.  This is something I'm working on.

The challenge that I have faced, that has been presented to me in my dear friend's declaration is "How do I want to be remembered?"

Most times, I am happy with the person I am.  I have recently been in a situation where I saw people I hadn't seen in many years and don't know if I'll ever see again.  I can honestly say - if today IS my last day... I do NOT want them to remember that "Jenn".

People who know the Jenn I really am, know I just love, love, love.  I work hard to be a good wife, mom and friend.  I want to be sure everyone is happy & taken care of.  I don't like anyone to feel inconvenienced.  If I can make things flow smoothly - I'll take it on the chin to be sure someone else is happy.  I would give all I am for someone else.  No, I'm not at all a door mat - just try and step on me!  I'm also pretty strong & very outspoken. Kids make me happy!  Especially my kids.  I love everything about kids & love to watch them learn and grow.  I love to make a difference, even if it's just a small one.  I  have fun.  I'm silly and goofy and like to let loose.  This is the person I want to be remembered as.

Sometime, just sometimes..."letting loose" is not such a good thing and I embarrass myself.  When I'm around people who already know and love me - it's all good. Sometimes people see a Jenn I'm not as proud of and that makes me sad.  I do care about the foot print I've left behind.  I do care about how I will be remembered.

Have you thought about that lately?  At all?

My dear friend had said, "...But we can live each day in a manner in which we would want to be remembered on our last day. To live our lives with, Honor, Integrity, Decency, Humility, Honesty, Respect, Passion, Love and of course with great Humor."

That's some really good advice!

I am so incredibly grateful to places like Facebook for reconnecting me with amazing friends from my past & bringing them into my present & future, whom I'd never know again otherwise.

To my dear, sweet & wonderful friend - I love you to pieces.  You inspire me & have made me really search my soul and re-consider...What if today was my last day?

What if today was your last day?  How will I remember you?

For a little back reflection... This is the inspiration for my posting.  Taken from my dear friend Ed's Facebook page.  March 2, 2012:

As I've said in the past, I don't usually post personal stuff on here, but I'm having a bit of a rough time today and would like to share some things. Today is another important anniversary in my life, but one I don't celebrate. March 2nd 1987, my boss, Dennis Schwart, was crushed to death in a baling machine where I work. Every day that I've been at work for the last 25 yrs, I've cried over his death, and relived this in my head, telling the other kid to go run the machine, not knowing my boss was in there, Him running up to me and saying, "You told me to run the machine, and now Dennis is dead." And the horrible feeling I had when I saw the hopper door open. And then going into the machine and seeing him there. It's a feeling I've experienced for 25 yrs, and I hope none you ever feel it for a second. And I'm sorry if I've freaked any of you out, it wasn't my intention. Nor did I tell you this to solicit any sympathy. It is what it is, and I deal with it the best I can. But I did want to share some lessons I've learned from it. One of the main things I've learned is to not judge people I try very hard not to. We all have things in our lives which affect us tremendously, whether positively or negatively. Whenever we meet someone, we have no idea what has happened tho that person that in day, week, or their lifetime to bring to the point when you encounter them. So you just have to accept them for who they are, embrace them for who they are, and maybe even love them for who they are. (Except maybe if they're assholes, Then I just don't deal with them, but I don't judge!) I've always hated when people say, "that person has issues." Guess what, we all do! It's called life! Or "they have baggage," well some people's baggage fits in the overhead bin, some people's won't fit on the plane, but we all have issues in our life which shape who we are. We all share a lot of the same problems, but everyone deals and reacts to them differently, and we should remember this when we are dealing with people. And the other thing I learned, is that life is fleeting, tomorrow is not guaranteed. At first I applied this lesson the wrong way, and just started partying way too much, not giving a shit about the future. I realized that was no way to live, and got help and cleaned myself up. There's a popular expression that says, "Live every day like it's your last." It looks great on a bumper sticker or as a FB post, but it's not very realistic. If it was our last day, we wouldn't go to work, let the kids eat whatever the hell they want for breakfast, etc,etc. But we can live each day in a manner in which we would want to be remembered on our last day. To live our lives with, Honor, Integrity, Decency, Humility, Honesty, Respect, Passion, Love and of course with great Humor. I try to live my life in this manner. I may not always succeed, But I try. If you're still reading this, thanks for letting me get some things off my chest. Oh, and as always, before I forget, I LOVE YOU!

I am incredibly proud to have called Ed friend.  He left an amazing footprint behind and a legacy of love that will never die.

Thank you for reading my blog.

Lots of love,

Friday, February 8, 2013

Who the Hell Am I? Pfft… Who the hell are you??

Ohhh so you like that, huh??  I may have tricked you a little.  Unless, of course, you’ve been tagged.  Even if you haven't been tagged, feel free to play along anyway.  (I’d love that)

Let me tell you a little of what is going on here.  I've been tagged by Marcia over at Menopausal Mother (who was tagged by Karen at Baking in a Tornado) to answer a list of questions from a game that originally surfaced on Facebook many years ago.  Let’s call it getting to know you… Or WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

Once upon a time there were 45 questions in this game.  Marcia kindly lowered it to 25 to save our sanity and combined various questions from both bloggers before.

You don’t have to read all the way through…but let’s face it, you clicked the link – you opened it and got this far.  CLEARLY you want to know who I am!

So let's roll, shall we?

I was born a poor black child…  Oooh, wrong movie.  Sorry…  I was born in Bergen County, NJ.  You wanna know the rest, ask my mother.  She was there and has way more detail than I do.  Garsh, my head was squeezed to death making my entry.  How much do you expect ME to remember?

Not that I’m aware of.  At the time, my name was thought to be very unique.  Special, one of a kind.  Hey, just like all the other JENNIFERs around….  We’re one unique bunch.  Nope, no other name like it.
ONE.OF.A.KIND – OK, Well maybe that’s just me one of a kind.

Currently have 3 of the best children I could ask for.  I say "currently" because 2 are my bio kids & one is a foster.  Hoping to make the short one a legal part of our family.  Many children have come through our household – and I count them all as mine.

2 cats, 2 fish and a frog.  Nothing too fabulous.

I don’t know…  I was dropped on my head as a child, which explains a lot.  Not sure I’ve broken anything.  Oh… Car crash when I was preggo with my son.  Messed my back up pretty good for a while.  Other than that, I’ve got Lupus – which makes me feel injured pretty much every day in the cold weather or rain.

That’s a little personal, don’t you think?  I mean…sheesh, this is a PG rated blog.

Bake??  Bahahaha...I don’t bake and if I did, you wouldn't want to eat it. God created bakeries JUST.FOR.ME.  Really.  He whispered it to me when I was very young… He said, “Jenn, you will never have to be crafty and creative in the baking sense.  There will always be someone doing it for you.” And voila…Bakeries.  Bakeries of every kind.  Pastry, Italian, German… You pick it, there’s a bakery and they’ll decorate it and put it in a pretty box and everything.

Not really a fan of “fast food” to be honest.  I will in a hurry and it’s usually a place of convenience that I can pass off as real food.  Wendy’s is on the way home in most cases and if I need to punish myself with gastrointestinal issues, I’ll hit Taco Bell.

Once upon a time, when I was young, single and stupid, I’d say YES!!  It was during my time spent in St Pete when it was very popular, that I saw several snapping bungee cord injuries.  Yes there was that big air pillow to land on, but not without some sort of injury. So no.  No bungee jumping for me.  I am, however going to jump out of a plane next weekend!

It’s two things for me – because it’s the combination.  Eyes and smile.  Both tell you a lot about a person.  A sweet smile will capture me every time & if there are beautiful, honest eyes attached….I’m hooked!  After all, the eyes are the window to the soul...

Ohhhh, I’ve been crying on and off the past 2 ½ days.  My dear, sweet friend, Ed passed away on Wednesday afternoon.  He was an important piece to our little group.  He was much of the glue that keeps us all together.  The person you could call when no one else wanted to go out and play, that was always up for it.  Yup, a little piece of my heart went with him.  Good friend.  Great human.

Yes, but legalities prevent me from discussing it – ever.  Meh….my IRL people know what’s going on around me.  Sorry cyber-space…  I have to leave you hanging.

Duh…. Coffee, followed by water and only trailing by wine due to the fact that they frown upon drunkards in the office.  Damn rules!  Oh, and since Valentine’s Day is coming… Alamos Malbec is my fave.  Yes, it’s cheap wine… I’m a cheap date.

I have a secret literary love affair going on with both James Patterson and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow followed closely by the very dark Mr. Poe.

Nah… Us women folk always get stuck doing wenchly duties & I don’t wanna play.  I could probably hold my own in a sword fight, but when it comes to brute strength – I’d lose.  Ya know, because of all the rum I’d consumed ;)

Honeysuckle, the head of a newborn baby and Pine Sol.  Yeah, I know that’s a bit all over the place but you asked.

I first started blogging to get my creative juices flowing and get my book finished.  Then it became a great outlet for the crap I’d been holding onto.  Turns out I scrapped at least two of the books for personal reasons & it turns out – I’m just a big attention whore.

Add caption
Silver Springs by Stevie Nicks/Fleetwood Mac – Yeah, I know that’s weird – but let me explain.  Once upon a time, that song was very connected to someone that I used to love.  Life and heart ache took me in many directions and I’ve grown.  That song now represents for me the person I used to be.  It reminds me what I’ve learned and who I have become. It also reminds me that there will always be pain in my life.  Things and people will hurt me from time to time.  I will get over it and like it or not they will always remember me.
“Time casts a spell on you, but you won't forget me.” 
Yeah, I know I’m not explaining it right and it may sounds a little creepy – but well, it is what it is.  If you click here:  Silver Springs. You can hear it.  If you click the title at the top, you can see the lyrics.  Maybe you'll get a better feel of what I mean.

Two things; the first is that I don’t know when to shut the heck up.  My mouth just goes and goes and once it’s out there and I realize what I’ve said I can’t pull it back.  The second part of that is that I hate to have made an ass of myself and/or hurt others so I will obsessively go above and beyond what is called for to rectify the situation until I’m sure it’s fixed.  Redemption is NOT my strong suit.

Writing.  It takes me out of my head.  That is why I continue to blog; If things get to me, if I’m happy, sad, lonely, insecure or I see a wrong done to someone – I blog it.  Externally – I like to landscape using what I’ve already got.  I’ve built 4 separate rock “structures” in my yard from rocks that were either there – or I dug up.   I live in the mountains.  There are a lot of rocks!

Loyalty and honesty above all.  I’m a loyal friend.  If I’ve put you #1 on my friend list – you come first.  Period.  I may have 900 other friends, but if you need – they need to wait.  I hope for the same in return.

Become a foster parent.  I have seen other people do it, and I always asked the same thing that people ask me – “How do you give them back?  I could never give them back.”  It’s worth it – every single second.  We’ve been fortunate that the children that have come through our home have gone to good places.  If they didn’t – we don’t know about it.  Yes, we miss them and yes it’s hard to give them back.  Yes,  you get attached – but the rewards outweigh the heart ache.  You move on.

I am very music motivated.  I LOVE music & I go to concerts as often as possible.  I had a short hiatus after my daughter was born and when she was in toddler-dom, but now – I go as often as I can.  Live Nation has become a thorn in my husband’s side :)

Liars.  Don’t friggin’ lie to me.  I’d rather be pissed off and hurt by the truth than deceived.
Oh, and traffic.  I hate to admit this – but I can tend to a little Road Rage.  You do NOT want to drive with me when I am in city traffic or there are a lot of cars around me.  Everyone in any car other than mine is an idiot & doesn’t know how to drive.

The same thing that made me cry.  When someone you love dies, you launch into nostalgia mode.  At least I do.  Maybe it’s a protective measure my brain has taken, who knows.  My mind has been going across the board nostalgic over the past few days & it’s included many of my friends and many situations.  Some made me burst out laughing – alone, like a mental patient.  I love that!   
Ed Cussick - June 5, 1965 - February 6, 2013
Rest in Peace My Friend.
You are loved

OK…  time to wakey, wakey.  I’m done.

It’s OK – I’m not all that interesting.  I may think I’m all that and a bag of chips – but it’s cool if you think I’m a puddle of water and a left over baloney sandwich.  Hey, you wanted to know … so thanks for hanging tough!

Now I'm going to tag 10 bloggers for this challenge right now.  I don't have the energy to think of 20 right now, but I'll come back and update :)

Some are new blogs to me while others have been "bloggy buddies" for a while and yes, I just copied Marcia word for word in these last few paragraphs.

I’d love to see them take part in this little blog love fest… because now you know who the hell I am.  Now who the hell are you?

You in?

Here are the bloggies I’m tagging.  I do just love them all – please go check ‘em out – or not.  I’ll never know.  They’re good for a giggle, a cry or full on belly laugh.  See for yourself.

I love these blogs - if you don't know 'em - feel free to check them out.

As always my fabulous buckets of love…Thank you for reading my blog!


Wednesday, February 6, 2013

A tribute to my friend, Ed.... Rest in Peace dear friend

Today, I lost a dear, sweet friend.  Wow, what a way to wreck a day.

I wanted to pay tribute to him in the most appropriate way - for me.  I found this to be the most fitting, as it is my own personal forum.

Ed was one of my biggest supporters of my blog and my Facebook Blog Page.  He commented regularly and always let me know how he felt about what I had to say - the good, the bad and the ugly.

I type this through tears.  Ed was a good friend.  Someone I cared about. Someone who crawled under my skin and wormed his way into my heart. The heart that now feels like it's on fire.

It would be so cliche to say that Ed was a great man, but he was.

The Sal & Ed - "Jenn Sandwich" Special
I hate that I'm speaking of my friend in the "was" tense.  It sucks.

Ed was so much to so many - fun, always fun.  I know right now he'd be pissed that I'm crying, but we friend people - We're all supposed to grow really old and launch spit balls at each other from the other side of the nursing home.

Today, after hearing the news my mind flashed to so many scenes in my life where Ed was a part of it.  I remember (all the way) back to Mr. Scielzo's 8th grade science class.  Him sitting at the desk next to me drumming on the desk.

Ed and I didn't remain friends after high school, maybe not even after junior high school.  It's hard to remember.  We had a renewed "Facebook Friendship".  All of us Clifton High School people - or at least the group of us that get together the most often.  The first time I saw Ed again after 20 some odd years, he said... "Jenn, I have to tell you - and don't get mad - but I had to year book you when you friend requested me."

I got over that & that became the beginning of our fun "rekindled" friendship.  There were many fun outs with Ed - not just Ed for anyone who may be wondering - our group.  He was even the "hubby approved date" on outings my husband didn't feel like attending.  Ed picked me up at the front door and delivered me home in one piece.  Safe and sound.  No issues, no worries.

Ed and I often argued "bantered" ARGUED.  He was a very opinionated Liberal and I'm well... not.  I think the only reason he tolerated me at all is because I know what I'm talking about, usually, and I don't pull any punches.  I keep an open mind and I reserve judgement.  I also had no problem telling him, "Just so you know, your Facebook page is blocked from my news feed until after the election."  He laughed, I laughed and that was that.  Many, many, many a time the words "agree to disagree" had to be said or posted or whatever.  I don't back down and he didn't back down.  I loved that!  Even that!

Because under that stubborn, sometimes pain in the butt - was the sweetest, kindest, gentlest human being.
Someone you can't help but love.  Someone who took a little piece of my heart along with him.

Christmas 2011 - my house
Sunday mornings he was "picking up the penguins."  ie:  Driving the nuns to church and every Christmas he was Santa - and what an incredibly endearing Santa he was.  He came to our house on Christmas eve and surprised the girls and some of our neighbors.

He was always so kind hearted.  He would do anything for anyone any time.  Out of the way - not a problem.

Ed lived his life.  He had fun.  Lots of it.  I'm not sure there was an outing he's ever missed, if he did it was because he was at a Super Bowl or the Grand Canyon.  He was always a part of the party, and for that I'm grateful.

Many times we'd have conversations and he'd jokingly say that he was looking for Mrs. Right now.  I'd ask him what about Mrs. Right - and he simply said that just didn't work out for him.  Maybe he'd just been single for too long.

What he didn't realize is that already had the deep love of many, many women.  Maybe not exactly in the way he was hoping for - but if you look through Ed's pictures on Facebook -  he's almost always surrounded by hot women.  Women who all called him friend and who all loved him.

Many a blog post was written here with Ed in mind... I won't tell all, but for certain the post:
If Today Was Your Last Day (you can click on the highlighted area to read the edited version which shows the initial inspiration)  Now that I look at the title of the blog, it seems ironic.

There are so many amazing things about Ed - I could go on all day about him.
The one thing I want to share that really stuck in my mind is about a friend of his who asked him out to eat - and he declined for no real good reason.  He just didn't feel like going.  A week later that friend died.  Ed always kept that as a lesson to himself to be with his friends - often.
For that lesson he extended to me, I am thankful.  As I did not decline the last invitation.  Though it was several months ago now, I am grateful to have had that time with my dear friend.

I will miss the banter, I will miss the "big ass hugs" and I will miss his spirit and love for life.

So Ed, I throw back your immortal words... Next time I see you, you're going to get one big ass hug!

Ed, I love you and I will miss you.

Rest softly on the wings of angels dear friend... Or dance on the clouds.  It's all good.


This is the kind of person my friend, Ed was... This is from his Facebook page from Thanksgiving:

Edmund V Cussick III
November 22, 2012

A little reflection this Thanksgiving. I don't have a lot to show for my life, I'm 47yrs old, live in a small 3rm apartment and drive a 10yr old car. I've never aspired to greatness, and in that respect, I've been quite successful. Part of the reason is I can be lazy, the other part is I've always been pretty content with what I have. And most of my life, I've been more concerned with doing things rather than having things. I may not have a nice big house, but I've sat on the edge of the Grand Canyon and watched the sunrise, I've been to places all around the country that people come from all around the world to see, I've been to the Super Bowl, and many other great sporting events and concerts. And while I don't have a lot of money, I have something that all the money in the world can't buy-You. The love, (and hopefully), respect , of my family and friends, means more to me than any possession ever will. Without you, I am, and have nothing. But with you, I have more than I will ever need. So as you all gather with loved ones today and every day, Be thankful not for WHAT you have in your life, but WHO you have in your life. The people in your life will provide you with more joy, inspire you, and lift you higher than any money or things will. Have a Wonderfull Thanksgiving, and as always, I love you.

Friday, February 1, 2013

I'm turning into my father....That ROCKS!

That's a little weird, right??

Nah, not really since I'm speaking musically.  My dad?  BIG music buff.  He is the one who taught me the fundamentals.  The foundation of rock and roll.  What's "trippy" and what's well, not.  I grew up with a regular course of Jerry G & Roger W.
More specifically, Jerry Garcia from the Grateful Dead and Roger Waters from Pink Floyd not to mention Elvis, Clapton, the Beatles, my deep love for Zep, Bowie and the British invasion.

Hi, I'm Justin Bieber and I'm a tool.
Yes, my daddy was a hippie, a stoner and an amazing human being who loved music.  I'm proud to be "turning into my father."

This post, however, may not reflect so well on me or my dad - because I, like my dad, have become a music snob.  That's right, a snob.  While I am fairly open to most musical stylings,  I have NOT learned to love "the Biebs".  I think the comparison of him to Elvis is disgraceful and makes me want to vomit.

My friends, I have officially entered... the old people zone when it comes to my musical taste.

My parents were divorced, so I was a mighty weekend warrior to my dad's house.  It was cool.  No animosity, no bad vibes.  My dad, as I said, was an amazing human.  We spent a lot of time together and when we talked or even just hung around the house the music was always playing.  Mostly Pink Floyd.  I learned to love Pink Floyd and many of the other classic rock bands via my dad.  BUT -- drive time on Sunday night?  7 PM on CBS - the Doo Wop Shop.

I can feel my fingers moving toward eye poking now.

I could absolutely NOT stand the DooWop Shop.  Hated, hated, hated.  He loved it.  He'd be driving along in the car and he's say, "Jenny, you need to pay attention to this stuff this is ..... "  Whoever it was... And NO none of you may refer to me as Jenny.

I do the exact same thing with my girls in the car.

We'd be driving along and I throw on my 80's station and hear my Jenny 867-5309 and start jamming out while the girls are in the back seat rolling their eyes.  They want to hear their Z100 type pop station that makes me want to poke my eyes out with a stick.  They're in the back seat feeling the exact same way.

Oh wait, it gets worse.  At my son's graduation party - I had my iPod attached to the speakers on random shuffle.  One of my son's friends came into the room and said, "Oh, don't worry Mrs. C - I like to oldies too."   Ahhhh WHAT??

Is my beloved 80's music the new equivalent to the DooWop Shop??  Please tell me it's not true!

Yes, sorry to say.  I think I do.
I have to stop for a second and admit .. the very best music did NOT hail from the 80's.  After all, ya know, Boy George... Nuff said there.  I do lean more toward my classic rock stations, but I also listen to Country every morning and Pop and the Dance music and Hard Metal stations as well when the mood strikes.  I do, I swear I do... Yet, when it comes to battle with my daughter over today's Pop - she beats me every time.

What I'm really getting at here... in the eyes of my child, I have become musically UNCOOL!  At least when it comes to this genre of music.  While she may "who's this?" at me when Sir Paul (Beatles) comes on the radio -- I am "who's this?" ing at her when Philip Philip Philip Philips comes on the radio.  Scratch that - I know who he is because he sounds like Dave Matthews...  Let's try, ummmmm  Bruno Mars.  What the heck is a Bruno Mars?  Or.. Ooh, Ooh - that chick that sings "I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number - call me maybe?"  I have more fun saying "Here's my wine glass.  Go fill it maybe."

Yeah new pop on the radio?  Deer in the headlights.  No flipping clue!  I just don't know.

I'm not totally closed off to new music.  I do listen to newer rock and country - I just don't like today's Pop. I feel like I'm perpetually tuned into the Disney Channel.  Anyone else?

Feed me Zep and Bruce and Bon Jovi, always Pink Floyd and Bowie.  Keep me far, far away from the Biebs.  Please.

I get it dad -- I do, really get it.  I am slowly turning into my father musically.

Heck, it could be worse - it could be my mother... Bee Gees or Olivia Newton John anyone?  No??  OK

Have Rockin' Day!!

Thank you for reading my blog!