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Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Sometimes you're a spectator... You hold the emotion in.

Sometimes you don't get to be the person who cries.

Sometimes you're the one who is called to be stoic in the face of overwhelming emotion because someone else is the one who gets to break down.

Sometimes, you're a spectator and you do what needs to be done. You remain calm and hold it all inside, for the sake of someone else.

Sometimes that's the most important thing.

Last night I drove up our street into our development to see several flashing lights in the driveway next door to my house.
My first instinct was - get there.

We love our neighbors.  We have a small, close knit, "hidden" neighborhood.  Everyone is friendly.  In many cases, including mine - everyone is related in some way.  If not genetically or by marriage they just feel like family because everyone looks out for each other.  Some of the neighbors have been here since the inception of our development in 1964.

I brought the short one inside with my daughter & confirmed my husband was already next door.

When I got to the house, I was motioned inside by my neighbor only to see my husband, along with the EMT's administering CPR to her husband.
She watched on - shaking and scared.

All I could think to do was sit her down and sheild her view from what could only be thought of as her own personal horror show - less than 20 feet away.

I'd never seen this before.  Not up close.  Not someone we knew and never my husband in the role of worker along side the paramedics and EMT's.  It's hard to remain calm, to hold it in.  I knew by my husband's face that it was already too late.  His wife knew too - she uttered the words over and over again "I know he's gone, I can feel it."  But it was not my time to cry.  So I didn't.

I'm not a big crier.  I mean, I cry.  I'm human, but with the exception of a few isolated emotionally charged incidents and real reasons to cry - I'm not a crier.  I wanted to cry.

I was able to remain calm, to hold it in & work to bring calm to my neighbor.  To convince her that she couldn't ride in the ambulance with the EMT's.  To talk to her daughter calmly to let her know where she should go & drive my neighbor to the hospital.

My husband went with the girls & thankfully our other neighbor drove with me to take our neighbor the hospital.  His calm demeanor was so welcome and comforting.  I was grateful he was there.

Driving down, we already knew.

Sometimes you don't get to be the one who cries.  Sometimes in the face of pure emotion, you hold up for someone else who needs to be the one to break down; The wife, the daughter, the family.

When I pulled back into my driveway, my husband was waiting at the front door.

He already knew.

It was at that time that I threw my arms around his neck and wept.

We will miss our friend, our neighbor and wish his family peace, love and comfort.

Thank you for reading my blog.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Dear Me: More Stuff I left out - Don't sell yourself short...EVER!

Yeah, I know I beat on this... but it's so important!

When you're young, tomorrow seems so far away.

You want what you want when you want it - RIGHT NOW!

You'll do anything and everything to get what you want. To catch the prize.  To win.

...Whether or not it's the right thing for you.

Perfect example, Love.

It's so easy to get caught up in the butterflies, but never sell yourself short. You deserve the very best. Don't think for a second you deserve any less. You are amazing and the person you chose should love every ounce of the amazing you have to offer.  If they don't see your amazing, move on.

I know that's easier said than done when the heart wants what the heart wants.

Trust me, chasing after something that doesn't want to be caught will never turn out the way you want it to.

Relationships are definitely a balance of power.
I know that sounds harsh, but keep listening.  Love IS a two way street.  If one person is twisting themselves into a knot to please the other, eventually the person doing the acrobatics is going to get tired.  Eventually the knot will unravel & you'll become who you really are anyway.  It's really not worth the effort.  Be who you are.

You deserve someone who will be completely in love with every single breath you take.

Remember, too....  Love isn't just about romantic love - it's about all relationships.

Relationships with friends, relationships with family, relationships with the people around you.

It's about loving yourself enough to know who you are and how you want to be treated.  Respecting yourself, and knowing what you will and will not tolerate in your life.

In youth, it's so easy to be blinded by the wants that you miss the really great things that are in front of your face.

High school relationships, for example, are built on "how to be popular". Being better and better and best.  No matter who you step on.  Don't be that person.  Be better.  Be the one who rises above it all and has friends who love you for being you.  The other things?  They're make believe. Trust me.

Always follow your heart - but listen to your head.  The heart wants what the heart wants, but the head knows what's real.  It knows who your friends are.  It knows who loves you and it knows who will shatter you.  Be smart.  Keep your eyes open and see what's real.

Even the box with the prettiest wrapping can be empty.

Hold on to your friends.  No matter what.  They are the ones who know you to your core.  You may have disagreements and times where you are not on the same page - but you will always be in each other's life book. Work it out.  Turning back the pages will always make you smile.

You will always be the best you that you can be.  Love that.  Embrace it.
Be you.

Don't ever sell yourself short... EVER!

You are amazing and wonderful!

Thank you for reading my blog!


Thursday, May 23, 2013

You see what????

I know, I know....
I've been doing a lot of reviews lately, but ya know what... This is my platform and I've got something to say.

In the Web-o-sphere, I've had an opportunity to meet so many fun and amazing people.  Some I've truly held onto and can call friend.  Seems crazy to say that about someone you've never sat in a room with, but it is.  I also like to help others on here when I can.

Last week, I was chatting with my friend K over at Queen of Sarcasm and we were discussing several different things.  One item she talked with me about was her friend Mike over at Psychic Sarcasm.  She mentioned how she'd developed an online friendship with him and he gave her a read - I should give it a try.  I'm up for almost anything...  So I thought sure, why not.

Now, let me tell you -- I'm a good little Christian woman.
I have been taught to not believe this kind of stuff.

I'm no angel - of course, in my younger days I have had a reading or forty.
I have definitely ventured into the realm of the unknown.
It's not something I've ever let rule my life - nor should it be.
It's for entertainment purposes only & Mike will tell you just that.

I went to his website, which you can find by clicking HERE and I signed up for a "quickie" which is an online chat reading.

Honestly, I wasn't expecting much.  I was solely in it for the giggles and the let's see what he's got to say.  I formulated a situation that I wanted some information / clarity on and I was ready to go.

At my appointment time, he signed in promptly and we began our chat.

I let him know the specific situation I was looking for information on and asked my question.

I was both shocked and surprised at the accuracy of his replies.  Almost like he just knew.

I mean, yeah - I am a total open book online, BUT - I made sure that the situation I was asking about was not something that he could go onto my blog and read up on or read down my page.
It was something private to me.  Something I don't discuss.

Our chat session was only 15 minutes long - but in that 15 minutes, I had a feeling of clarity and ease take over me.  I truly enjoyed the reading.  I also enjoyed Mike's wit & flare for sarcasm.

So if you're someone who likes a reading or is looking for something fun to do, go on over & see Mike.

His Facebook page, Psychic Sarcasm is a page with silly jokes.  Light and funny.

His website to book an appointment is:

Tell  him Jenn said he's a "super prophet"  :)

**  Disclaimer:  The information in this post is solely my opinion and should not be taken as anything else.  I paid for my reading and have not been paid for my review.  My review is done solely because I like to "pay it forward" across the net.  However - if the mood strikes ;)
I am not responsible for any information which you may be given, or advice you may receive.  This should be seen as ENTERTAINMENT ONLY.  Have fun! **

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Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Lilla Rose Review

Emily, from Lilla Rose, recently asked me if I would try a Flexi Clip 
and let her know what I think of it.

While I am completely and totally honored that she asked me, 
I have to be really honest to say - I'm all about simple.  
The only thing I put in my hair is hair spray, 
so that my hair stays where it needs to be 
and I don't need to keep messing with it throughout the day.
That's me.

Also, I'd never heard of Lilla Rose.

I always want to help, so I said I would absolutely check it out.

I decided that my daughter would be the one to try it.
Since she has inherited her Momma's "say it like it is", 
I knew I could get an honest opinion.

My daughter - TOTAL DIVA!
I mentioned the cute clip to her and she squealed with excitement. Before I could even explain what she'd do completely, 
she began checking the mail daily,
 waiting for the clip to arrive.

Emily sent me a really cute silver butterfly clip.  
Although my daughter's fashion statement is wearing it upside down, 
you can see how pretty it is in this picture. 

It's Upside down....  She liked it that way
I had issues getting the clip to work, but I'm a bit of a butter fingers.
My daughter had it all up in seconds.
It was super easy for her and she loves it!
The picture above was taken within seconds of her putting it into her hair.  
No muss, no fuss - in and up and beautiful!  She LOVES it!

Check out the different types of clips in the picture below:

If you'd like more information from Emily on these clips, you can find out more at her web site HERE.

At her site you could place an order, inquire about hosting a party or even find out how to build your own business by being a distributor!!

You can also join Emily on Facebook:

Emily, thank you so much for asking me to do this review for you.  I can say, for certain, that my little diva is a total fan!

So what do I have to say about this??

Embrace your inner Diva!!
If you're all about clips and new ways to do your hair, give Emily a shout!!  
Tell her Jenn sent ya.  :)

Thank you for reading my blog review & have a beautiful day!!


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Monday, May 20, 2013

Waaaa, Waaaa, Waaaa... Shut UP already!

Yeah, I know.  I've been a complainer lately.

Facebook is a pain in the arse.  Waaaa

I feel like crap.  Waaaa

I'm tired.  Waaaa

It's Monday.  Waaaa

I have to work.  Waaaa

Waaaa, Waaaa, Waaaa....  Shut up, will ya!

See, I don't need to be yelled at - I'll just slap myself around.

Seriously.  The whole victim thing -- not me.

I've had some crapola dumped on my plate.
Well boo friggin hoo.  Who hasn't.

Yes, I could cry for sympathy and play the woes me card - but why?
Who the hell cares?  This is what life dealt me.  No on owes me a favor, though it would be nice.

I do NOT lead a tortured life.
I am so incredibly lucky and blessed it's crazy!

I get annoyed sometimes when people have these piddly little problems - and I'm talking piddly - and they complain and cry about it endlessly.
Even me sometimes...  Shut UP!  Gosh!

Put on your big kid panties and get over it already, will ya.  No one promised you birds and flowers.  You want birds & flowers?  Well go get birds and flowers.

I go off on random tangents sometimes, as I'm sure you've noticed.  This whole entitlement thing drives me insane.  Life is full of ups and downs. You WILL have difficulties and problems from time to time.  They may even be life changing, but THAT is life.  Not everything is going to be fabulous all the time, and that's OK.

You NEED to have the bad to appreciate the good.  You will never know how great the good is without the absolute crap.  It's a balance.

Let me also clarify - I'm no hero.  As much as I cringe when people shower me with kindness when I complain, I also cringe a little when people regard me as a tower of strength while touting my accomplishments.  I know that sounds ridiculous.  I have this whole blog thing that screams... Hey, Hey, look - It's ME - over here HIIIII!!!  ...and I don't really like the spot light.  Ya know that person who runs up and chases the spot light & then says Oh Crap, here It comes and runs away. Yeah - that's me.

Um... hello, you people know I have issues.  Isn't that why you still read me?  To see what I'll come up with next.  Just when you though YOU might be a total whack job - you can read here and feel awesome about yourself :)

A few years back, I had really bad health and medication issues.
When I was first diagnosed with Lupus, the doctor I was going to really didn't know how to deal with me.  I am, apparently, medication sensitive and somewhat a unique case.  I was loaded up with prescription drugs.  When I got new side effects, I got new drugs.  It was bad.  The doctors I was seeing basically decided that my Lupus was out of control & that they didn't know what more they could do for me.  It wasn't fabulous.  I was super scared and really sick.  So at that time, I decided it was time to make peace with my past.  Say the sorrys I'd held back and forgive those I'd not forgiven, like that.  I was hospitalized & transferred to a new doctor - who, though not much better, took me off all of those medicines and gave me more.

I have a point, I swear...
That period of time, is the only time I felt like I was feeling the "victim." Looking back now, I feel a little embarrassed and foolish.

I've been back pedaling ever since.

I decided to make a change.  To stop embracing my inner victim & run toward the mentality of, "Yeah - I have Lupus.  So what."  Sometimes the "so what" kicks my ass, but other times - it's not so debilitating.  My positive mental attitude has helped my physical wellness and help me achieve things that I haven't had since before my daughter was born.

There is a point here....

We piss and moan and bitch and complain about all the have nots in our lives.  The things that aren't absolutely perfect.  The millions that don't roll our way.  (Damn Powerball.)  The stupid stuff that really doesn't matter.  We obsess over the have nots and forget the haves.

I fell into that mode, and I'm embarrassed by the things that came out of it.  No back pedaling can change the impressions I left during that time.  I can only move forward.

It wasn't until I did a complete mental shift and started being grateful for the haves that I started to feel better.

Yes, sometimes things DO hurt, BAD!  But at least I can feel.

So you have a choice here - and it is YOUR choice.

You can choose to look at the piles of crap loading up around you, OR you can look for the OK and build on it.  Even if it's not the fabulous you're going for - it's a start.  Go for the OK and turn the OK into an AWESOME.  One second, one minute, one hour, one day at at time.

Because when push comes to shove, it's your choice.

No one else's.

Now go have a great day!

Thank you for reading my blog!!


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Monday, May 13, 2013

I left my heart at the Jersey shore....

The place, not the show :)
This weekend for Mother's Day, my number one wish was to go down the shore.

I knew that I may be disappointed, but I figured I'd take my chances as Martell's, one of my favorite boardwalk places, is re-built and opened.

I was not disappointed!

Yes, there's still work to be done, but it's really looking good and will do just fine this summer.  It was very encouraging.

Afterward, I really wanted to drive down Route 35 to see how things were progressing further south.  I wanted to see the how the area just past the Mantoloking Bridge was coming along.


What a heart breaker.

It's been 6 months and 20 days, at this writing, since Hurricane Sandy hit New Jersey leaving a wake of destruction in her path.

I hadn't been down the shore until now.  In my area, Sandy's mark is still evident in many places.  Even looking out my own back door I can see the remainders of the uprooted trees that came down.  Our destruction is NOTHING like down the shore.

The destruction down the shore is something that can only be seen.  My description could never come even close to what I saw.  Pictures on TV can never truly depict the actual decimation of this once beautiful vacation haven.

Seaside Heights... The boardwalk and area made famous by shows like the Jersey Shore - a total horror show.  I drove down "the strip" and became very sad.  Though I was able to peek up some of the ramps and see that my favorite place The Midway was open, the boardwalk is not complete.
There is so much to be done.  So much is just...gone.  The ride piers are gone.  The roads and buildings looked more like a sad old town than any place people used to go to vacation.

Much of the area I used to frequent when I was in high school was unrecognizable.

All along 35, some the magnificent homes that used to stand proud; collapsed, crumbled and condemned.  I was amazed at how the ocean seemed to pick and choose what houses will stay and which will go.

My heart sank.

There are too many horrors to count as you drive by.

Yet, this is all long forgotten.  Old news.

It's been almost 7 months since Hurricane Sandy.  Several other tragedies have come and gone.  People have forgotten.  People like me, who took a drive and saw for myself, only to realize that the place so close to my heart - so big a part of me and my younger years is gone, and may never be the same.

This weekend, I truly left my heart at the Jersey shore.

I blew kisses to the Atlantic and said a prayer for my home state.

It's been almost 7 months.  Summer is just around the corner.

It's time to remember that place that has every Jersey girl & boy's heart...

Restore the shore.

If you wish to make a donation to help restore the Jersey shore, or would like more information, please click on the Restore the Shore link below which will take you to their site.

Restore the Shore

I love New Jersey and I love our beaches.

I left my heart at the Jersey shore.

Thank you for reading my blog!


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Friday, May 10, 2013

Prepping for Summer Give Away!

Have you started Prepping for Summer yet???


Well you'd better start!  It's coming quick.

Swimsuits, vacations, barbeques...  We're ready to help you get ready!

Yes, We!

I've teamed up with some amazing bloggers / friends to put together a great Prepping for Summer items.

What can you win?  Well let me tell you....

Money for essentials....A $25 Visa Gift Card
from My Daily Jenn-ism

Something to help with this winter weight....It Works! wrap

A cookbook to prepare for company.....
Carrie's Experimental Kitchen - A Collection of Mediterranean Inspired Family Recipes Cook Book
from Carrie's Experimental Kitchen

Something for Cocktails....Party Bullet by Magic Bullet

Reading material for the beach...I Just Want to Pee Alone & Life Well Blogged books
from Snarkfest

Enter by clicking in the box below!  Good Luck :)

Please see enter, enter, enter!!  Tell your friends, tell your family, tell the kid that moves the shopping carts back into the store... Tell everyone!!!

Must reside in the US. Must be 18 or older to enter. Must have a valid shipping address, No PO boxes. Must respond to the winning notification email within 48 hours or another winner will be announced. 

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Thursday, May 9, 2013

How do you do Mother's Day when your mom isn't a "mom"?

I woke up this morning with my heart beating out of my chest in a cold sweat....

Not your typical hot flash nonsense, nightmares.

Nightmares of what you may ask?  Mother's Day.

Yes, really - Mother's Day.

I'm a mom.  I love my kids to infinity.  I love other people's kids to infinity. It is my desire to love and protect children and let them be happy kids.
I am a mom.

My mother was not this mom.

Is the the stuff nightmares are made of?
Meh, I wouldn't go so far as to say that. I actually DON'T want to use this as a forum to smash her to bits.  I genuinely believe that she didn't know what the heck to do once I came to the planet and when push comes to shove, she mother and if she needed me, I'd be there without question.  That's who I am.

Yet here I sit this morning, with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes from a nightmare of her, and it's not the first.

Mother's Day is in just a few days.  Normally, I'd be prepared with gifts and cards and joy to spread.  If my heart was in it.  I've made half-assed attempts at acknowledgement before.  Ya know, out of the "it's the right thing to do" part of my brain.

How do you do Mother's Day when your mom isn't a mom?  What should the card say?

"Yo, thanks for getting me to the planet.  I'm good."  or "Sorry about the stretch marks.  I can take it from here."  I know the flowery mushy stuff isn't real.  I can't be inauthentic.

A little strong, I know...

I know I'm not the only one on the planet to have "mommy issues."
My high school friend, Allyson, posted something along these lines on her Facebook page.  I read it intently, because like me, she also has....mommy issues.  She is also a great mom - being all and better for her kids.

So tell me....  What should the card say?
When you're a woman, a mom, a little girl who longs to give a card with heart felt meaning...What should the card say?

How do you ignore those feelings on Mother's Day, when the puzzle pieces were never put into place; when you look into the eyes of your own children with burning love and see the love looking back - knowing all the love you possess for them.

Wishing in your soul that the mommy love eyes you give your children would some day look upon you in that way.

...Even if you're all grown up.

Thank you for reading my blog!

Thursday, May 2, 2013

What imprint will you leave?

Ever since my dear friend, Ed, passed away in February I'm reminded of him, almost daily, in some way.

Silly stuff mostly.  I'll take a picture with my phone and think what a crappy picture my "camera" took and his words... "It took a crappy picture because your CAMERA is a PHONE" or I'll think of one of our very "deep" conversations about life in general.  He was a good person.  Someone who I won't ever forget.  Someone who made an imprint on me.

In my adult life, I've worked to do good things and lead a godly life.  I'm far from perfect.  I'm far from a great example - but I work toward it.  When I see someone needing help in some way, I try to make the extra effort to make that person's life easier in some way.  No matter who they are.  Just because that's what we fellow humans should do - care for each other with no expectation of a return.

I was definitely no angel or fabulous example in my earlier years.

My childhood wasn't stellar and I didn't have much regard for the rules that were set before me.  I'd never break any major laws, but I often tip toed on the line.  I don't look back at my old self as a bad person, just someone who I'm glad I'm not anymore.  Someone who needed guidance and probably a good swift kick in the ass.

I look back on that person now and KNOW that she is not the person I want people to remember when they think of me.

I often think of the imprint I want to leave on this planet.  My mark.

How do I want people to remember me once I'm gone?

I certainly don't want the party girl remembered...She was fun, but totally irresponsible.  Quite the story teller.  Not always so nice.  I don't want to remembered for my idiocy that creeps out from time to time.  I want to be remembered for my good....  How often do I let that show?  Enough for people to remember?

I mentioned a few posts ago about the older man who got nasty with me in the restaurant.  He could, very well, have been remembered as a cranky, nasty old man.  He instead called to apologize - so I no longer think of him in that way.  He changed his imprint.

I thought of this again yesterday, as I lost patience with the worker at Lowe's.  Granted, he made a stupid comment, but my reaction was not appropriate.  I later apologized.  I was not kind, nor was I the person I want to be remembered as.

My life and the things that go on around me definitely get plopped here in my blog. Mostly to let go of things, but also to put on display for others to see.  Not to tear anyone down - but to teach and to learn.  I constantly learn while I type these blogs out.

The fact is that we can believe whatever we want about ourselves, but until we actually live what think we are, people will ONLY see what we show them.  It doesn't matter if you're the most philanthropic person on the planet and only do good....
If people see more of the ick, that is what they will think of you.  THAT is the mark you will leave.

So again, what imprint will you leave?  Will  you leave one similar to my friend, Ed - where people think the happy stuff and smile?  Or will they remember bitter and unkind?  What face will you show people?

What imprint will you leave?

Thank you for reading my blog!


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